Now here I am, filled with all these ridiculous New Years resolutions that I come up with EVERY year (would have been so easy to just cut, paste & repost last years goals!). One of those resolutions is to make some kind of damn effort do a better job in keeping up with my blog. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not deluded enough to think that I possess some magical information and its my obligation to share my insight with the world. I know that most of what I have to say is shit. What is important is that I have an outlet to purge this shit from my soul. To infect the world, if you will. Because some of the stuff that happens in a girls life is just too twisted and bizarre for her to keep to herself.

So… a quick run-down of my year: went to a very, very dark place (kind of like a quick trip to hell only without the warmth), saw the light & went towards it, trained for and ran a 5k (a different and shorter trip to hell) with The Middle, welcomed two new victims into our extended family (a boy and a girl) who, I’m pretty sure are already checking their contracts for an escape clause, had a squatter stationed in my extra bedroom for a few months before he decided that free room & board isn’t such a great deal when said room seems to be located within a sanctuary for wild rabid monkeys.

After surviving 2011, what could 2012 possibly throw at me? Oh, well, yeah, there’s that whole end of the world theory, but that isn’t until December!

Lets do this….

The Middle was drastically easier. That child sees what his older brother is doing or has accomplished and instinctively sets out to best him. I kid you not, this child potty trained himself!

And now, with The Oldest, I’ve had a completely different experience. You see, I’m older, I tire more easily, and I just don’t have the drive for perfection that I started with. Once The Baby figured out how to pee in the pot (and its been pretty hit-or-miss about how consistently he actually uses it) I kind of took a less compelling route to total potty independence. He has underwear in his drawer, but let’s be honest, the Pull-Ups are so damned convenient and easier to deal with when I forget to make him potty. On top of that, this kid is a little more worldly than the others. When I asked him why he wouldn’t poop in the potty, he explained, very seriously, that “I’m just not ready.”   When I pressed him further, “Well, when are you going to start pooping in the potty?” he lovingly cupped my faced in his tiny little pudgy hands and very patiently said, “when I’m ready.” So, not needing to make any more work for myself, I let it go. When a kids not ready, a kids not ready, right? Why push the matter?

Today, apparently, he was ready. He rushed into the kitchen where I was putting away groceries and said, “Mama, I have to poop!” Now, I know he’s new at this, and it’ll take some time to develop his skill and figure out how everything works, but so far, that one turd, which I’m sure is just a regular sized turd, has required 8 trips to the bathroom, each of which produced a single pellet. Making this one poop an eight part series.

Ten years ago a little creature showed up who rattled my world. Suddenly, I was somebody’s mother, and it actually felt different. I’d been sure that motherhood would never change me, and then I found that the very core of my existence had been flipped on its axis. I found that I could give completely, could think first of another and that I could survive with only 30 minutes of sleep at a time for weeks!

In ten years he has brought me some of my highest moments, as well as my most crushing defeats (why the hell is potty training such a nightmare?). There have been times when I’ve hurt so bad for him. It’s true, he doesn’t fit neatly into many molds and that doesn’t go unnoticed by other kids–and adults–who can be so mean and dismissive. And I want to scream at them, with pride and rage, “Don’t you see that’s what makes him so goddamn unique you single-dimensional fuck!”

He makes me laugh with his witty insight and goofy sense of humor. He challenges me  with his stubborn nature. He warms my heart when he cuddles me. And I love that boy.

The Oldest’s birthday falls near Memorial Day weekend (fittingly!). This year, school was still in session during his birthday for the first time. It was the last day of school, but it still counts!  The fourth grade field trip was also scheduled for the last day of school. I went with his class on a trip to Ouray, CO. The entire fourth grade class went on a tour of an old silver mine, had a picnic lunch, and then went swimming at the Ouray Hot Springs Pool.

Beautiful Ouray, CO…  

At the mine  

The Oldest with his mining hat   

Here is our charming tour guide on the mine tour (proof that some people really should work underground. Deep, deep underground) 

The birthday finished up two days later with an official birthday party, group viewing of Kung Fu Panda 2 with a few friends, and a sleep-over (if you look really close you might be able to see all nine bodies…) I think the thing that he most appreciated was the fact that the entire 4th grade class was able to share in his 10th birthday. “Well, son, I planned it that way just for you!” And if he doesn’t believe that, you can bet that this late post will someday be used against me. Along with all the others!

Don’t get me wrong, I know that all of these activities my kids are involved in require funding. I just don’t understand why so many people think its easier to bake two dozen damn cupcakes and take my kids out to peddle them at the feet of all the un-registered offenders  in town than to just hand over the cash.

And then, four games into the season, just when I thought we were home free, Coach announces that he has a list of dates that our team has to help run the concession stand and we have to send three parent volunteers–and for the record, they use the word volunteer incorrectly, they are actually referring to parent draftees–to work for 2 1/2 hours. So there I am, in a group of parents and facing the coach, what else could I do? I picked the first night and sent The Hubbin’ off  to sling soda and snacks for an evening. So, don’t ever let it be said that I won’t do my part and sacrifice for the kids.

The first thing you should know: this isn’t a rule book. There aren’t any nearly impossible-to-meet expectations, no glossy pictures of organizational perfection, and no time consuming “methods” that your expected to replicate. The authors, Alicia Rockmore and Sarah Welch, had me at the introduction where they describe “org porn” (defined as “that glossy, airbrushed fantasy world…sort of like Playboy, but with chore charts and name-plated cubbyholes”). Who hasn’t flipped through those magazines and dreamed of living in that kind of organized perfection? But, this book isn’t about achieving perfection. You are encouraged to reevaluate your ideals, decide what is really important to you instead of what you think others expect of you. And, here’s the kicker, that there is such thing as being “imperfectly organized”. The authors explore why we feel the need for hyper-organization and they interviewed real moms–very, very busy moms–to get a wide variety of organizational and time saving tips. It was such a relief to know that I really don’t have to strive for perfection, that it’s ok to have organizational faults and how I can improve on– or mask– those faults when I need to. This book isn’t just about organizing your home though. Its about looking at everything, your home, work, social obligations and way of thinking, in order to find a more realistic way of living.

Busy moms will also be glad to know that this book is very easy to read, you wont get bogged down in tips and boring text. You’ll be able to read it quickly and get on with your new, imperfectly organized life.

Want to win your own copy of Pretty Neat? (and be eligible for a $200 gift card and Buttoned Up products)

• (mandatory) each person who comments with one funny area in which your life, or home, is out of control and you’ve learned to cover it up, rather than organize it will receive one entry
• (bonus)For a tip on how you’ve cleverly delegated a task to someone else you’ll receive one entry
• (bonus) For signing up for e-mail updates on my posts you’ll receive one entry
• (bonus) For following DisgruntledMom on Twitter you’ll receive one entry

*Must be 18 or over and a US citizen to qualify for the drawing*   One commenter from Disgruntled Mom will receive a free copy of Pretty Neat. You will also be entered (with winners from other participating reviews) for the gift card and selection of Buttoned Up products.

Disclaimer: I received no monetary compensation for this post. I was given one copy of Pretty Neat for review and, for my participation in this campaign will be eligible for a drawing for a gift card and selection of Buttoned Up products. This review reflects my own opinion and was in no way influenced by others.