Random Shit I’ve Posted on Twitter

• #HungerGames has influenced everything! My son now calls Honey Nut Cheerios (w/ the bee on the box) "Tracker Jacker Cheerios"and then I said...1 month ago
• Dear son, while I admire how you steadfastly defend your beliefs, the fact is 78 + 12 does NOT = 80, never has BEEN 80 & will never BE 80!and then I said...1 month ago
• Found heaven yesterday. Small town, quaint Craftsman houses, a library & 2 liquor stores within 2 blocks of each other. Like I said: Heavenand then I said...1 month ago
• Would I rather spend a night w/ my son doing math or 72 hours in a dark closet w/ swarming locusts? Tough call. Leaning toward the locusts.and then I said...1 month ago
• Growing old in the Starbucks drive-through. Very. Very. Old.and then I said...1 month ago